i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
