My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
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