It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door