She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.