What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning