just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person