he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Quick, to the slutcave!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours