hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
