"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
