Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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