So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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