Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
