your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
