She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
