he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
my liver is dry heaving
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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