just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize