how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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