So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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