Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
