update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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