break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
