I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
