Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
