where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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