my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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