Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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