when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize