Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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