but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
