I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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