yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
