Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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