come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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