Cold hands, warm shart.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
