The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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