dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize