he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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