Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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