Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
