Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
