sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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