haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
