now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
