My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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