I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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