the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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