YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it's like heaven, but drunker
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
