Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
