i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
