Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
