i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
