Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
