I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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