Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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