nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
