do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
