You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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