Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
