My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
