so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
